Roadkill

I need a job bad, because the unemployment checks based on my wages from Hot Dog on a Stick just aren't cutting it. (Who ever thought people would go unAmerican and eat less hot dogs and drink less lemonade during a recession?!) Luckily, an idea hit me for a new career when I was driving down HWY 5 back from a nudist nature hike over the July 4th weekend.  In between my gazing into people's cars to see what hand position they were using on their wheel and what tech gadget they were fingering, I would look at the road, and that's when I started to notice something: A lot of dead animals lingering on the highway pavement. There were so many really, that it was starting to gross me out, what with the matted fur, cold eyes, and dismembered body parts. But once I got over all that I thought, what a perfect job—picking up road kill.

So, I started looking into it, and it turns out getting this kinda job can be a bit more complicated than one might think. Figures! A person can't even start picking up dead animals without jumping through so many hoops it almost kills themselves. Depending on where you live it can be a freelance contracted job or a state government job. Here in California, we've got Caltrans (praise the almighty), which means I have to take a generic state test before I can even be considered for a position. And meanwhile, all the dead animals on the side of the road are just gonna be ignored, waiting for some last salvation that may never come. What's a worker to do?!